Music Attribution
Transcript
SOUND FX: Quick tone To introduce the show
COLD OPENING
(to unarm)
MUSIC: 01 "A Country Dance" by joanna Sternberg
CYNTHIA
To tell you the truth, I think we're much too precious about our approach to it. After about 5,000 or multiple thousands of people saying to me, nobody wants to talk about death and then they want to talk about it, I realize more people want to talk about death than anything else I've ever tried to bring up with them...
MOSS
Well, count me as one of those people. I want to talk about it. I want to talk about the logistics of it. Things like buried, cremated or donated to science? Who takes care of my dog if I die? What songs make it on my funeral playlist? If I die tomorrow, what are my last wishes?
CYNTHIA
I think that's another thing that gets left off a lot in family conversations..., families don't often bring this up or discuss it until it's really too late or not very comfortable to discuss. To my mind, I can't think of a more interesting Thanksgiving conversation than all the different family members describing to each other what they want.
MOSS
That's Cynthia Beal, founder of the Natural Burial Company talking about the importance of talking about your last wishes. In this episode, the very first episode of The Adventures of Memento Mori I chat with her and other lovely guests about the logistics, legalities and the preparation that goes into one's death, specifically mine. And so...without further ado, let adventure begin with episode 1: Plan on Dying.
OPENING BUMPER
(TO AROUSE)
MUSIC: Show theme music
Female announcer
From The Jones Story Company, this is: THE ADVENTURES OF MEMENTO MORI, Or, A Practical Guide for Remembering to Die - the podcast that explores mortality. Here's your host D.S. Moss.
MARTIN & MOSS 1
(To Intrigue)
MUSIC: 02"Sing we now of christmas" by Seth partridge
(This song has a holiday vibe and a tim burton vibe but It gets obnoxious Really quickly though)
MOSS
We were talking with Natural Burial expert Cynthia Beal about highjacking the conversation during your next holiday dinner with your family and discussing everyone's last wishes.
SOUND: Dinner table clatter - conversation dishware
Moss
"Could you please pass me the rolls, oh, and by the way Aunt Silvia what would you like done with your remains? and the butter too, please."
MARTIN
Are you more relaxed about the possibility of dying because you feel like you've got it all figured out?
MOSS_Mono
Relaxed? No. Absolutely not. And I'm not claiming to have anything figured out...just organized.
MOSS
To help me work out some of my mortality issues, I sat down with life coach Devin Martin of Lifestyle Integrity for some moral support as I plan on dying.
MARTIN
I am Devin Martin. I'm a life coach, some would say a life and career coach, today perhaps a life and death coach. I often say that I help people create and manage major life transitions. I suppose there's no bigger transition than the one to the after life or death or however you think of it.
MOSS_MONO
Yeah, as far as transitions go - I'd say it's probably the biggest.
MARTIN
The time of death is still undetermined, but everything that happens post-mortem will be laid out in detail?
MUSIC: "Desert mask" by Mascaras
MOSS
That's the plan. i's dotted. t's crossed. decisions made. Luckily, I found a software company that has a platform that guides you through the detailed steps of what needs to be done and stores all of the paperwork and information your loved ones will need should something happen. "Should something happen" that's such a polite way to say it, isn't it?. By the end of this, I'll be ready to die - administratively speaking of course.
CHAPTER 1: WHY PLAN?
MOSS
Imagine for a minute that you're in front of your computer. You open a browser and type in www.everplans.com. A clean looking website comes up - mostly blue tones - with a peaceful image of a young father staring off into the peaceful ocean with his 6-year-old daughter on his shoulders.
GENE
I'm Gene Newman. I am the editorial director at Everplans, and I help make all this dense, complicated, often depressing stuff a little more accessible, and hopefully fun.
MOSS
Gene is going to be our user interface tour guide as I complete my everplan. As an added bones, I also have author and funeral guru, Elizabeth Meyer on the line to help make sense of all this.
ELIZABETH
Hi, I'm Elizabeth. I have about six years of experience in the funerals and making the topic a lot easier for people to discuss.
MOSS
So, before we go any further I'd like to tell you a little about me; I'm usually in some sort of existential crisis, but I'm more meaning obsessed than death obsessed. Honestly, the last thing I want to think about is my own death. Let alone my funeral. Even when I was in the Marine Corps and we had to get our paperwork in order I didn't really think about it.
ELIZABETH
Everybody wants to believe that they're invincible.
MOSS
Me included. I have much bigger problems to deal with than thinking about my mortality. But as Grandpa used to always say, "Learning to live is the process of learning to die." So with that in mind I asked Elizabeth at what age should somebody start realistically planning?
ELIZABETH
Now, start now. Why not?...There are a certain phase that believe that if you start planning your funeral, you'll die.
GENE
We get that a lot.
MOSS
Which is a legit concern. The last thing I want is to accidentally manifest it.
ELIZABETH
There's been no proof that that's true...In certain religions, you don't name the baby until it's born. You don't have a baby shower, because you think something could happen, and the same is true with death, but unfortunately, you are then left in a terrible situation where nothing programmed this. There's no harm in planning an event. Inevitably, you buy insurance for tornadoes. The tornado is not about to strike. You have fire insurance. You have insurance for everything, but your death is going to happen. Why not plan for that?
GENE
....people that even think they've planned and did a great job, usually leaving the mess behind, regardless, because they think, "Well, I got my will. I got this...My house is in this name, so I don't have to worry," and then you get through this, and we say "Okay, what about your pets?" ...What happens to your iTunes collection? What happens to all the books and movies and every digital asset you had? All the photos?......how could someone get on your cellphone?
MOSS
No one is getting in my cellphone.
GENE
Social media, adding things like that, what do you want done with it?
...If you're a frequent flyers, miles, how you transfer them...
...If you're paying on a lease, it doesn't have to be returned, because people come and repo cars after you're dead, and they might be like "Wait, I thought we own this car," and you find out that you didn't, employment, current, past so people could either find if you have benefits going on.
ELIZABETH
Who's going to take care of my children?
MOSS
Who's going to take care of my dog?
GENE
"Who's going to take care of my children? Who's going to take care of my dog?" They probably say that.
MUSIC: "down to the street" by cory gray
MARTIN & MOSS 2
MARTIN
What's the life expectancy for a man such as yourself?
MOSS_MONO
What do you mean? A man such as myself?
MARTIN
A man in the United States.
MOSS
Back with my life coach.
MOSS_MONO
Oh. I don't know. I'm pretty healthy. I exercise. I eat well. I probably drink too much. And I sometimes smoke when I drink, so I'd say 85.
MARTIN
85?
MOSS_MONO
Yeah
MARTIN
It's a little above average. It's a good thing to shoot for.
MOSS_MONO
Well, I've always had high aspirations. Besides, if I'm going to be a parent I'm going to have to live that long just to my kids graduate high school.
MARTIN
You better hurry up and get somebody pregnant.
MOSS_MONO
Very sound advice. I guess that's why I need a life coach.
MARTIN
It seems like taking care of your death is more about taking care of everybody else.
MOSS
Or as Gene from Everplans says it...
CHAPTER 2: SELFISH SELFLESSNESS
GENE
It is the most selfish, selfless act you can do...
ELIZABETH
It's planning your funeral, and dealing with all this, in case it hasn't been clear. You're dead. Bless your heart. You're calm. You're cool. You've got not a worry in the world, so that's for your family. You're not doing this for you. You're doing it for your family, for your friends.
MOSS
I have to admit, so, as we were going through this there was a thought that kept creeping into my head - who am I going to burden with carrying out all of this stuff?. If you're married it's easy right? It's part of the contract of getting married. But is this something I want my mom dealing with? How horrible would that be? But then Elizabeth said something that stuck.
ELIZABETH
I think it's really interesting that the word that comes to your mind is "burden," because I think the word that should come to mind is the "honor," the honor of being responsible for the last thing you can do for a person.
MOSS
She says, think of it like a birthday party. If you say to your friends, 'throw me a party' they'll be like "ugh, what a pain in the ass" But if you say, "for my birthday I'd like to go to this restaurant and I'd like these people to be there" they'll be like "Sure. My pleasure."
ELIZABETH
I think if we compare our funerals to that as opposed to this is a serious thing, suddenly, it's not a burden. It's an honor, and I think that's the way we need to look at it.
MOSS
I'm not sure we have the same type of friends, but alright, let's get to honoring somebody.
CALL TO ACTION 1
MUSIC: Emergency exit by Dr. frankenstein
Female announcer:
Ever wonder what Elvis's last words were or the most outrageous method of capital punishment in history? Discover titillating titbits about death by visiting our YouTube channel "Yo! Mori" and be the slightly odd yet endlessly fascinating conversationalist at your next party.
And be sure to stay up to date with the quest for enlightenment on Instagram and Twitter by following @remembertodie.
All of this, and more, can be found on our site remembertodie.com. And now, back to show...
CHAPTER 3: THE PLAN
(To humor)
MUSIC: "Wind Tunnel" by Cory gray
MOSS
Step One. Create an everplans account.
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE
What is your reason for creating an Everplan?
MOSS
(sound of typing)
To reconcile my estate...hmph
(sound of backspace/deleting)
(sound of typing)
It's what responsible adult's do...nope
(sound of backspace/deleting)
(sound of typing)
To be prepared should something happen.
(sound of clicking enter)
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE
Have you done any health care planning?
MOSS
(sound of typing)
No.
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE
Have you done any financial planning?
MOSS
(sound of typing)
No.
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE
Do you own any property?
MOSS
(sound of typing)
No.
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE
Do you have a spouse or life partner?
MOSS
(sound of typing)
No.
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE
How many children do you have?
MOSS
(sound of typing)
No.
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE
Wow. You had better get crakin.
SOUND: hitting the enter key
MOSS
Look at that easy peasy. Almost done already.
CHAPTER 4: ADVANCED DIRECTIVE
MOSS
Step two: Advanced Directive.
GENE
Advanced healthcare directive, because the healthcare proxy, and then there's a living will.
MOSS
This is the section that I actually knew the least about and is probably the most important regarding giving your family the guidance to execute what you want. And it's the easiest to complete. The health care proxy is...
GENE
...the person that you name to make decisions when you're just out of it, when you can't. You can be in a coma. It doesn't have to be that you're just sick and dying.It could be you're in a car accident and you're just in a coma and you can't say "I want this treatment or that treatment."
MOSS
And a living will is your end of life medical care. It's the responsibility of a doctors to keep you alive as long as possible. Your living will provides the doctor instructions for when to say when.
ELIZABETH
It's a joke in my family is that my mom will say that if she is she stuck her tail, I'd pull the plug, of if she could be actually in a coma, my brother would still be and to keep all this out and said "Look, this is what I want, so one of you doesn't kill me."
GENE
If you remember back to Terry Shyvo and recent cases, this is what spurred the huge debate where people are like, "If you fill this out and people know what you want, then it can be taken care of." If you don't, then it becomes a huge battle between people to think "You have to stay alive at all costs," and someone's saying "Look. We have to pull the plug, because there's just nothing we can do."
MOSS
In New York state, the Advance Directive includes both the health care proxy and living will.
GENE
You'd go in there and fill it out, and a lot of times, each state has different ones. On Everplans, we have every one. You just search for your state, download it, and this is one of the few things that anyone can do. If anything, right after tax day on April 16th, it's healthcare decision day, which was the day that it was supposed to fill this out.
MOSS
This little piece of legal gold seems incredibly important. Is it mandatory to do when you get your health insurance?
GENE
No.
ELIZABETH
No, sadly, no.
MOSS
This isn't mandatory?
GENE
No.
ELIZABETH
No.
MOSS
This shit should be mandatory.
GENE
That's the thing...
ELIZABETH
This shit should be mandatory
MOSS
But it's not.
ELIZABETH
You have to name someone
GENE
You should do it.
ELIZABETH
You should do it. Everybody should.
MOSS
And so I did it.
SOUND: Let's use sound design to create this - skype phone ring etc
DON & PEG
(to comfort.
The vibe of this is "oh, that is a simple conversation" as well as getting the vibe that I have a peculiar relationship with my family)
SOUND: Skype phone ring
DON
Hello?
MOSS_MONO
Yo! What's going on?
DON
Not too much.
MOSS_MONO
Is Peg around?
Mom
I'm on the phone.
MOSS_MONO
Oh. Good. So, there's something important I need to talk to you about. There's something I'd like to ask you. And Don I'd like you stay on the line as a witness.
(beat)
Ready?
DON
We're ready.
MOSS_MONO
Peggy...if I am deemed mentally incapacitated or incompetent and I can no longer make decisions for myself, I'd like you to be my medical advocate responsible for making all medical decisions on my behalf in accordance to my living will.
DON
If he goes berserk you get to tell him, keep him or ...
MOSS_MONO
By agreeing to be my healthcare proxy you're legally obligated to carry out my medical wishes despite your own moral or religious beliefs. Mother, will you be my health care proxy?
MOM
Yes, of course.
MOSS_MONO
Perfect. Thank you. That's it.
MOM
You scared me. Here I've been fretting for the last hour, oh gosh, what's going on.
DON
Yeah, she had about 8 different scenarios worked out ... The marriage one, I blew milk out of my nose.
MOM
Unfortunately.
DON
You're doing a living will?
MOSS_MONO
Yep.
DON
Yeah, that's a good idea. We should be doing that.
MOM
We haven't even done that.
DON
We've been talking about it for like 10 years.
MOSS_MONO
So why haven't you out of curiosity?
MOM
I don't know, no reason, no good reason, just I don't know, we just haven't. We just haven't. No good reason. One of those things.
DON
Yeah, we just haven't.
MOM
Hey, did you ever save your beard? Last time I talked to you you were thinking about saving. Did you ever do that?
MOSS_MONO
No. I lost the courage. It may be a permanent fixture now.
MOM
Yeah, I know, and it's nice. It's a nice one. Only thing is, you know if you shaved it you would look younger, so if you ever feel like that's where you want to take things, that would be the first avenue.
MOSS_MONO
Thanks for the tip, Mom. Ok I'm out.
DON
All right. All right. Take care.
MOSS_MONO
Thanks again for being my proxy.
MOM
Sure, you bet.
DON
Always enlightening.
MOM
Okay. All right, talk to you later. Bye Bye.
SOUND: Skype call hang up
SOUND: Transition cue
MARTIN & MOSS 3
MARTIN
The other main thing that I have given a lot of thought to is the actual dying process.
MOSS
We're back talking with Life Coach Devin Martin.
MARTIN
The one thing I've always been very clear on, just as a consciousness junkie, somebody who explores consciousness through meditation, breathing exercises, and psychedelics and philosophy, is I want to be aware of my passing. It's very important to me that I be as sober as possible when I die.
MOSS_MONO
Death as an experience of consciousness.
MARTIN
I do want to make sure that I'm minimally sedated or anesthetized as I die. As somebody who's been meditating for a decade or two, you learn quickly that consciousness is probably not what it seems. It's a big mystery when the body passes. When life even leaves the body is not even entirely clear to anybody. There might be some choices to be made or some wonder to be experienced. I would absolutely not want to miss out on that very rare opportunity.
MOSS_MONO
I'd just want to make sure that I'm really dying though. I'd hate say "fuck it" let me feel the experience and then it turns out my appendix burst and I totally should've been sedated. Now what I mean? It'd be hard to know for sure.
MARTIN
Should we talk about how you're going to be, what you're going to do with your remains? Are you going to burden someone with your remains? That's the question.
MOSS
He means honor, but yes, that is the question and we'll get to that in just a second. But first...
SOUND: Transition cue
CHAPTER 5: THE WILL
MOSS
Step 3: My Last Will and Testament.
ELIZABETH
There are certain huge life stages that should cause you to update a will: get married, get divorced, have a trial, lose someone who was heir to your possessions...
MOSS
Turn 40.
GENE
...and even if you don't do a will, and this is something that we have come across, people don't want to do one. They're like "My family will get along fine. If they're going to fight, then they don't deserve any of my money," and you're like you don't know what you're setting up, but "Okay, you're the most trusted human being on the planet. Have fun with that though... you might as well just throw them in a room with a short stick and say "Okay, whoever lives is walking out with my money."
ELIZABETH
Unfortunately, more often than not, that's what happens.
MOSS
We spend the next 30 minutes of our conversation swapping stories about how crazy families get when it comes down to inheritances. People just get fucking straaaange. That's why Gene and Elizabeth recommended that you assign the executor role to someone strong and impartial.
ELIZABETH
Yeah, someone you trust.
GENE
Someone that's good, someone that will follow what you want and someone that could make informed decisions. This is where you want that person who's not crazy and wild and is going to go off on people and can deal with words and can deal with family members that might be complete...
MOSS
So let get this straight. I need to find someone I know who is trustworthy. Who is not crazy or wild? Who's not going to go off on people? And who can also make informed decisions? I actually don't know anybody with all of those qualities and I'm certainly not related to them, but... I don't know someone with 4 out of the 5...
WILL ASK
MUSIC: "One shot charlie" by Cory gray
LIBBY
What are we doing?
Laura
Yeah, so official.
LEon
It feels very momentous.
MOSS_MONO
Well this is official. ... Hey Cleet, can you sit down and not pitter-patter? Thank you.
LAURA
Hi good puppy..
MOSS_MONO
Libby and Leon I've invited you here to be witnesses for what I'm about to ask Laura. Boy, I'm so nervous,um... Ok. Here goes, Laura, you are one of the most trustworthy people I know, and you're crazy but the good kind of crazy and you make really really informed decisions. Laura Wiley, will you do me the honor of being the executor of will?
LAURA
Get out of here. For real?
MOSS_MONO
For real
LAURA
For real?
MOSS_MONO
Legally.
LAURA
Sure. I'm shocked. I'm shocked that I'm the one. Yes. I hope I will not have to do that, ever. But I will.
MOSS_MONO
Keep in mind if I get married and have kids, my wife will most likely become the executor, but...
LAURA
I'll get demoted? You're going to demote me? Why do you got to ruin it like that?...I felt so honored there for a second. For now, I feel honored for now (laughing). Thanks.
MOSS_MONO
Shit. Sorry. I ruined the moment didn't I?
LEON
I also want to know what I'm getting out of this.
LIBBY
Should we do a ... I mean, are ... is it like we can grab what we want?
LAURA
You could just give me that ... your little cute liquor cabinet over there or something.
LEON
We could just go around the room ...
MOSS_MONO
If you want...if there's something that you want.
LIBBY
Can I...can I just put my name on Post-Its and put it around your apartment?
LEON
I think you just need to lick things that you want. That's legally binding.
LAURA
This is dismal talk.
LEON
Is there a place in the will where we get to guess how you'll die and if you win you get everything?
LIBBY
Oh, a pool.
MOSS_MONO
I actually like that idea.
LEON
Wouldn't that be cool?
LIBBY
That would be. I think to have a death pool, I think that's a great idea.
LEON
Brightens up a difficult time. Puts a little element of suspense into it.
LIBBY
I think the people who know you could definitely come up with
MOSS_MONO
Jumping on a grenade.
LEON
No.
MOSS_MONO
Or rescuing a child from a burning building.
LIBBY
See, I wouldn't go for that one.
MOSS_MONO
Hmm.
LEON
Or to erotic asphyxiation?
LIBBY
I'd probably...I'd take that one.
LEON
You'd have to spell it correctly to win.
CALL TO ACTION 2
(TO CHARM)
MUSIC: "O Cerebro do Morto" by Dr. Frankenstein
FEMALE ANNOUNCER
The Adventures of Memento Mori is an independent podcast and we could use your support. Shop with us. Go to remembertodie.com/shop and buy some merchandise. Get your entire family a "This could be my last cup of coffee" mug this holiday season or be the first one on your block to sport a Mori "Death! Yo." baby tee.
MUSIC: "Mountains 2" By cory gray
CHAPTER 6: BURY OR BURNED?
MOSS
Step 4: Guardianship
GENE
Guardianship is the biggest...I know so many people, so many friends of mine that have kids that have not named a guardian.
MOSS
Turns out Guardianship only pertains to children and not dogs. So we'll just skip this part and move on to STEP 5: Bury, burned or given away to science.
(Feels like we need a sound effect here. nothing too cheesy but this is an important section)
CYNTHIA
One of the things that confuses people most is the end of life process.
MOSS
We're back talking to Cynthia Beal from Natural Burial Company.
CYNTHIA
The Natural Burial Company makes biodegradable coffins, and urns, and shrouds, and other kinds of natural and alternative products that people can use once they die.
MOSS
So tell us Cynthia, what confuses people about the end of life process?
CYNTHIA
It actually has several different stages and I've broken it into 3 parts...
MOSS
Part one.
CYNTHIA
That is the predisposition activity, taking care of the body, is it embalmed or not, the casket or shrouding, the event itself, whether or not you're going to have a viewing, whether or not you're going to use a funeral director. All of that stuff goes on before what's called the disposition.
MOSS
Part two.
CYNTHIA
The disposition itself is. It's tight moment in time. The disposition right now, it's what is done with the body, what actually happens to the body to end the legal record of the life.
MOSS
To end the legal record of the life.
CYNTHIA
If you're talking about a natural burial, the disposition of burial is permitted, but the actually burial itself, it takes place in a very short period of time. The hole is dug, the body is put in, the hole is covered up again, and the disposition is over. Same with the cremation, you go to a crematory, a body is put into the cremator, the disposition began, the fire finishes its work. The disposition of cremation is over when the body is burned.
MOSS
And part 3?
CYNTHIA
Then you have a period of time where you have a whole bunch of activities that come post-disposition that has nothing to do with the disposition either. I'm really glad you asked that question because it's really important to look at and separate out the activities you want to do that are the actual disposition itself and the activities that are either pre-disposition or post-disposition.
MOSS
So, I have to admit my naiveté. Coming into to this, I thought the options were either cremation or buried, and by buried I mean being embalmed, dressed in a cheap brown suit - probably corduroy, painted with theater make up on and being locked in this $10,000 piece furniture, and buried next to someone I may or may not have known. Forever. Or until the aliens dig me up. It's either that or cremation. Turns out, there are a lot of options.
CYNTHIA
It's only been in about the last 50, 60, 70 years lead by the United States that we introduce a process of less traditional burial which includes the burial of a body inside a metal casket, typically a metal casket, and then that casket, in American cemeteries, is placed into what we call an outer burial container or a concrete burial wall. That practice of putting a human body inside 2 layers of non-degradable stuff is mostly what is done now in American burials, and prevents the body's decomposition and return to soil.
MOSS
I used to find that absurd, well I still do, but I recently took a trip to Greenwood cemetery and was in awe of some of the mausoleums there and thought, well, if I had the money, it'd be nice for the kingdom of Mosses to be in one place. Until the aliens dig us up of course.
CYNTHIA
The modern alternative that we're proposing now is our alternative natural technique is to have your body placed in something that's biodegradable, a coffin, or casket, or a shroud, and buried in the earth, directly in the earth, without a concrete wall or an outer burial container around it, so that decomposition can take place faster or a period.
MUSIC: "All my light" by Cory Gray
MARTIN & MOSS 4
(to titillate)
MOSS
Did you know that in natural cemeteries there are traces of human DNA in the trees. And did you know modern embalming techniques originated during the American Civil War where instead of formaldehyde they used a mixture of arsenic and mercury to embalm over 500,000 bodies? Science has come a long way since then and we have many environmentally friendly alternative burial options.
MARTIN
Can you get them shot into space?
MOSS_MONO
My ashes? Yes, but out of my price range. It's actually cheaper to get cryogenically preserved.
MARTIN
Frozen head Walt Disney style?
MOSS_MONO
Yeah.
MARTIN
Imagine if you're suddenly aware of that. Imagine if you're just cold for 600 years.
MOSS_MONO
What if we've been wrong this whole time is hell is actually cold!
MARTIN
Hell for me is a cold place.
MOSS
So says the man who spends his winters in New York. After doing quite a bit of research on the matter, by decision for my disposition is...
CYNTHIA
I just wanted to say a little bit more about alternative forms of disposition.
MOSS
One second, Cynthia, I'm announcing my decision. I've decided to donate all workable organs to science and then cremate the rest. I'm sure the doctors will have a field day figuring out how I survived for so long with a shriveled up raisin for a heart. It's all you Cynthia...
CYNTHIA
What's really interesting about all of them is that there are all these ideas, these objection to them are primarily decency arguments, and those shouldn't lie. I don't believe there's any room any longer, especially in modern society, for a decency argument.
One of the biggest misunderstanding is that a natural burial is illegal. Another misunderstanding is that it's a law that says you have to be embalmed, and that somehow embalming protects people from disease. Both of those things are myths, so embalming requirements for viewing a body at a funeral are only a funeral home policy. They are not a law.
I really welcome the alternative disposition movement, because I think it's really appropriate to ...
...What do I want to say? ... to honor the way all these multiple cultures and religions in our world explore death and the afterlife. Death is one of the most interesting ways we express ourselves and our belief as people.
SOUND: TRANSITION CUE
MOSS
Thank you Cynthia. Well, I'm almost ready. So far in this journey, I've gathered my birth certificate, DD 214, tax returns from the last two years, and all of my other important "legal life" documents and secured them in a safe. That combination along with all the passwords from instagram to electric bill have been entered into Everplans.com. I've selected my Death Deputies, who've been tasked and know what to do, I've written my last tweet - which will also be my first tweet. Will, Advanced Directive, Power of Attorney, all have been done. I've even picked out my obituary headshot. All is planned except...
CHAPTER 7: THE REMAINS
MOSS
Step 6. The Remains
ELIZABETH
Okay, do you want your ashes buried?
MOSS
No. Not traditionally and not with a headstone. I also don't want to sit on a mantle or end up in somebody's garage or closet.
GENE
Yeah, so you could say "I want part of it traveling. The other part, I want to go to this mountain. I want to go there."
ELIZABETH
Or tattooed into something.
MOSS
That's right. You can get a tattoo with someones ashes in it. You can be turned into jewelry. You can even be turned into a diamond. You can be turned into prayer beads, works of art. The options are only limited to your imagination.
MUSIC: "Marianne" by The Losers
MOSS
And now finally...the fun part Step 7: The Service
CHAPTER 8: SERVICE TIME
ELIZABETH
Service time, yay...
What kind of service do you want?
Do you want it to be at a restaurant?
Do you want it to be on a golf course?
Is there a certain food that you want? Is there a restaurant you want to cater it?
...it's your party...Is there somebody that you would want to emcee the party?
GENE
...Having the ability to have a playlist
or "Here is the passage I want...Here is a two-hour playlist that I keep right there on my phone or my computer...
This is the last song.
MOSS
So... here this whole time I've been waiting to plan my service - it's supposed to be the fun part, right? What once in a lifetime send off do I want? But then the more I thought about it and the more I began to plan it, the more ridiculous it felt. I mean, last song? Being dead is formal enough. I'd much rather the music just keep playing until the last person goes home.
SOUND: some sort of sound transition if needed
CHAPTER 12: CONCLUSION
MARTIN & MOSS 5
MARTIN
The main question I've been biting my tongue on this so far is what is all this planning for your death to your life plan? This is a whole lot of time and energy and resources that are not going into, I don't know, working out today or going on a date or some next great creative work of yours. Is planning for your death a way to avoid living?
MOSS
And that's why he's my life coach. I will say it's helped me.......
LIBBY
It's like that Queen Latifah movie where she finds out that she has cancer and then does everything that she wants, and just kidding. You don't have cancer.
LEON
Spoiler alert.
LIBBY
Well, it's been out a while
LEON
Right.
LIBBY
Are you doing that?
MOSS_MONO
Living each day as if it were my last?
LIBBY
Yeah?
MOSS
No. But I've made small changes. Every morning when I roll out of bed I put on my glasses and I say outloud Death! Yo. just to acknowledge it. And then, more importantly, I've enrolled in breakdancing classes because I'd never forgive myself if I died without knowing how to pop and lock.
MUSIC: "3 in Raw" by jazzafari
MOSS
And with that... Thank you for joining me on the episode of The Adventures of Memento Mori podcast. A special thanks to everplans.com, Cynthia Beal at Natural Burial Company, Elizabeth Meyer and Devin Martin of lifestyle integrity. Please visit our website remembertodie.com to find out more information about the wonderful work they all do. I'm D.S. Moss. Back next episode with more Adventures of Memento Mori.
(see what this next part sounds like w/o music)
MOSS
Oh, and one last thing. We want to hear your voice in an upcoming episode of The Adventures of Memento Mori. Have a personal story of people behaving badly because of a will? A sibling? Aunt? Uncle? Neighbor? Or even Parent gone crazy?
Tell us your funny, sad, absurd or head scratching story about a last will and testament by making a brief audio recording - just use whatever voice memo app is on your phone and upload it to the Will Stories form on our site remembertodie.com
Thank you.
CLOSING BUMPER
MUSIC: End with our theme music
FEMALE ANNOUNCER
The episode was produced by Josh Heilbronner and D.S. Moss with production help Alexandra Mulligan. Theme music composed by Mikey Ballou. This has been a production of The Jones Story Company. Until the next time... remember to die.